While waiting forever for my AMC theater movie to start today, I saw a series of movie trailers, things I usually enjoy on some level. But I was annoyed to see that two of the movies had the same sappy tagline — Dream Big.

This is a phrase I heard earlier this week, and it caught me off guard. I was at a friend’s interactive theater production, and a character, preparing for her role as Alice in Alice in Wonderland, turned directly to me and asked what my big dream is.

I couldn’t answer because I honestly don’t have one. I threw out a line about being past the age of my own dreams and just hoping to help my children live theirs. But that wasn’t quite right either.

The truth is, I’ve never been a person to believe in big dreams … I’m a man of small obsessions. People and things grab me and take hold, and I fall under their orbit. It usually feels completely out of my control. I’m an active participant, but also on for the ride.

My life of small obsessions has brought me to interesting places. It’s the kind of thing that will lead a person to read long, challenging books and run marathons, learn musical instruments, and take up a nearly endless series of writing projects. But none of these things really adds up to a Big Dream, and when the obsession has run its course, that’s it. I just wait for the next to emerge.

That’s because I can’t force an obsession. If I no longer want to spend my time playing music, I can’t force myself to do it anymore. If nothing is inspiring me to write, my long list of abandoned writing projects that never quite captured my imagination attests to the fickle distinction between vivid ideas and obsessions.

I’m ok with my approach. It’s something I understand about myself that I wouldn’t want to change. But I’m sick of the cultural propaganda about Big Dreams. Why big and why a dream? We should feel joy over the fact that certain things in life capture our attention and energies — and come in the right size for us to take action on them.

Right now, I’m in a short term movie watching obsession that feels close to winding down. I’ll keep watching movies afterwards, I just won’t feel the desire to watch 4 or 5 a day like I’ve been doing lately.

Something new will come along, it always does. I’ll keep going to F45 nearly every day, like I have for six and half years. I’ll find something to write about. There will be more books to read and write.

For now, I’ll rest a bit and know that the next thing to keep me going will find me soon enough.